Relationships Still More

So still building on the basic theme of relationships from the past couple of weeks. One thing that can define relationship is being a friend and I am reminded of the words of Jesus, where He said: “Greater love has no man then this that a man lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13) But love is often hard to define and sort out in our lives. We often talk about falling in love, falling out of love. Yet the great commandment according to Jesus is twofold: Love God with all you are and Love your neighbour as yourself. (paraphrase according to Jon)

So that gets me to thinking perhaps love in a relationship is not an accident, it is not something we fall in or out of at a whim. Rather I think it is a choice, it is something we decide to do. We make friends based on our likes and dislikes and from there our relationship grows or falls apart based on the in common things. Sadly where I started a couple of weeks back is that of ‘Vines that Choke the Life Out’ of relationships and how easy it is for little things to grow into bigger things and suddenly best friends are fighting with each other.

Well I think perhaps marriage should be the foundational basis of society and yet we have lost our way with what it is about or how it should function in our world. But sadly for too many marriage is now a thing of the past and there is much confusion about it.

The way it is presented these days is that it is something two people do if they love each other. But this was not the origin of the way it worked or how it should work. Yes, love is a factor, or should be at some point since the command in Ephesians is; “Husbands love your wives, even as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself for it...” So we see again a command to love, a choice that has to or should be made. But if love is the basis and people don’t choose to love then small wonder marriage is in such trouble. The reality is we are to be doing marriage to picture what Christ did when He died as a sacrifice for us. If we did marriage as a 100% commitment, a 100% sacrifice, it changes everything. Relationship then matters in a way much different than our normal starting point.

The thing is, marriage is hard, relationship is hard, but there are answers out there. But as I am learning it takes time to learn the lessons and sometimes, well too many times, we wait till it is too late to get help or to find a way forward. That is where I don’t have all the answers but I know the Guy who does and with a wee bit of ‘want to’ on our part, He can help us build relationship right.

Things are looking up,

Rev. Jon Bergen